I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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