i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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