would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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