I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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