I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
