go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
