Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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