I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
