I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize