areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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