I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
