I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
