Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yo dont text me then not text me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize