Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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