.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
