her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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