In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
