Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
