I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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