Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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