Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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