What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
