fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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