Your dad touched me again.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
