"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
