your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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