I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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