We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
