Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
