So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
