I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize