I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
