Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
