2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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