im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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