He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
