I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
