My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
