Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
