His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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