my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
And then he peed in my hair
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