well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
