Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize