I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
