He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
