you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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