I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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