Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
