Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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