Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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