My vagina just recognized that song.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
