my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
