I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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