I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize