But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You can't special order awesome
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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