All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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