My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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