it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
