What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
