So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
