We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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