goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
