Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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