Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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