the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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