pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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