"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
