and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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