Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
