we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
