I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
