I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
