seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
