Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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